Big And Weird Ass

Dedicated to finding and photographing Big and Weird Ass in the wild.

Share / Bookmark

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Ahhh.... Summer


Feeling Sassy Feeling Free

Is she REALLY looking at strawberry patterned pajamas?

I hope it isn't a day wear consideration because she is working those jeans like no one else can.

_______________________________________


But These ARE My Good Jeans

Washed your hair this spring in preparation for going out...check

Took little sisters t-shirt because it enhances my figure...check

Rip pants to let everyone know what a rebel I am...check

Looking good....looking good

_______________________________________

I Am Going To Wear Something Sassy

Are there mirrors on your planet?

That tank top is about 4 minutes away from blowing out all over the place.

Hint: Don't show the world every crease you own...save something for the wedding night.

_______________________________________


There is no 5 second rule...I swear...just let it go.

_______________________________________



Ladies And Gentlemen...I Give You....Mister Majestic

Words cannot describe this vision as he parted the crowd with his sheer awesomeness and made his way towards destiny.

Broken hearts and shattered dreams in his wake.

This is the kind of outfit you set out the night before your head-on collision with fate.

You just don't "throw" this kind of image together, this takes years of adverse social behavior to build to this kind of final crescendo.

I didn't even KNOW they made construction orange crocs much less where one would actually search for and then buy a pair...with real grown up money and everything.

Although our subject ranked fairly low on the ass-o-meter, he pegged the needle on the weird-o-meter here at Big and Weird Ass.

_______________________________________



Every Delicious Dimple On Display

I just don't understand wearing something so tight and sheer everyone can tell if you waxed this week or not.

I bet she is working a serious camel toe on the other side of those sweats...just saying.

Remember when people used to work out or even jog in sweat pants and jogging suits?...how did we come to this?

_______________________________________



Tye-Dye Dream

Known mostly for it's slimming effects and general acceptance in the fashion world, Tye-Dye can double as a warning flag if lost or hurt in the wilderness.

Ok I get the shirt, you were drunk, Hootie and the blowfish were jamming and the moment hit you at the annual Woodstucky 2008 Harley festival and pig roast...I get that.

...but the hat?....did you really have to make it pop with the hat?

_______________________________________

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

You Say There Is No New Ass Out There?




...call me a dirty girl.


This Dude....He made more fun of people than you can imagine. Mullet, business in front, party in back, and look at that jewelry....are you kidding me? You think I make fun of people? You should have heard this guy ripping on everyone who happen to walk by and yes that is his "old lady" next to him.

New rule...if your mullet is gray, your required to cut it off out of respect for humanity.

This guy is STILL in the 80's in some parallel universe ....Wake up, your busted on Big Weird Ass.
Why not just say "I want to fit every stereo type invented"?, This is in crackerville, USA. This dude is probably the ONLY guy of color in the town and he is TRYING to fit every stereotype invented, embridered pants hanging down so underwear shows, check...on cell phone because your business is way to important to wait even minutes, check...earring left over from the 80's, check.......way to go stud.




OMG.. Hairy man, I first met this guy in the john...I kid you not...with his leg up ala- Captain Morgan Style...taking a piss in the urinal while shirtless with one leg up on the plumbing...???...I have never urinated with my leg up in the air, what the heck was he trying to do?...this guy was wearing his fur coat like a badge of honor...you tell me...hot or not?


All frelaxed....where is the chips?....watch the "talking to the left" "eating to the right" chip grab move...she is so slick...



National Anthem is on...gasp...that was a work out.


"Exhausting....time to take a break...where is the deep fried food?"



I kid you not friend...he was wearing shorts earlier, when he went to put pants on I thought he was throwing down another blanket.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Its Veggy Time


Sighted grazing recently in the wild, this majestic matriarchal female selects the choicest nuts and berries for herself during a solo foraging excursion away from the herd.

Silently examining each potential piece of vegetative deliciousness, she has the wisdom to know which goes best with a pound of bacon.