Sex On Wheels

Ah, yes..a personal transporter. (like they used in olden times)

For a mere $5500.00, you too can mobilize that BWA and look really, really...err......cool. *cough*

Our BWA field reporter had a difficult time taking this photo, having to fight their way through legions of fair maidens fawning over him. 

Rumor has it, that a knight was disqualified from the 2pm jousting event, after insisting upon using a futuristic chariot in lieu of a horse.

And You Can't Find A Date?

"I dunno what attracted me to her first" gushed Alonzo Rapheal Cortezio, "It could have been the sassy kangaroo tail, it could have been the homemade hanger and saffron fairy wings, it could have been the furry faux hooves...I just knew it was right."

"I felt a strange hearkening in my nether regions and it wasn't even that time" a tittering and giggling Sadie"fudgenator" Mayonaisio of the Kennybunkport Mayonasios replied. 

"I saw his rubber ears, he saw mine, our antennae touched and we BOTH felt the magic." Sadie added.

"I asked him if that was a medieval ready meal in his pocket or if he was glad to see me, it was a ready meal though" Sadie reminisced fondly.

Next time your out on a Saturday night and can't pick up a potential mate, just think of the above photo.

If they can find each other and true love, you can at least get laid once in your life.

Note the girl on the right with the soft drink, she isn't catching flies with that open mouth she just can't believe what she is seeing.

How Does It Stay Up There?

Fashion Tip #3

If it is sticking up your cooter, don't wear it. People will only wonder whats going on up there.

Fashion Tip # 99768

Buy shirts for the widest part not the smallest part, it does not have the slimming effect you think it does.

Fashion Tip# 4

No polka dots ever.

When Resting Pick Your Roost

Darwin's Law?

If Darwin doesn't have this law he should.

It was found that when studying mass migration patterns of BWA that successful habits were imitated to the benefit of the whole.

Case in point, see photos above.

Whether these are subconscious or conscious decisions is not known, what is known is that when choosing a place to rest, the strongest structural point of any position was located and utilized by males, females, young and old.

Note the "stump to rump" location on these benches and even when something as sturdy as a 100 year old tree stump wasn't available, the ground itself was optioned over weak and pathetic 2x12 lumber benches, although provided in abundance to the herd.

Nature or nurture?

You decide.

Can You Hide In That Camo Better?

Camouflage is never a good idea as a fashion statement.

Adding a army green military T shirt isn't telling the world you can color coordinate, it's telling them you just got out of ROTC for weekend leave.

Add a sexy ankle tattoo to divert attention away from the fact your showing the world your panty lines commando style and you "got it going on!"

Now top it all off with a 3 second hair-do courtesy of a scrunchy and your ready for deployment soldier.

That Hour Glass Shape The Boys Find So Appealing

Please keep your PVC in the boudoir. Your shiny sticky petroleum based clothing selection is not appealing to anyone but the acne covered virgins in your community college ethics class.

When trolling for a new man have your "going to town" PVC halter on, pay for one third of a bad dye job and have your roommate pull your lacing tight enough to rupture your internal organs..it works like magic.

In the 2nd photo white has been added to the waist line to show exactly just how tightly this outfit was pulled together, possibly the most severe case of muffin top ever seen by this BWA reporter.

It hurts my small intestine just to look at it.

Fashion Foul - Trying Too Hard

Bedunka dunk in the trunk...she could have come off really hot but took it a few points too far.

Errors noted:

A) Frayed cuffs from dragging your pants through dung, gum and other pleasant substances is never advised to complete "your statement".

B) Pants too low and too tight for your...your uh...feminine qualities. Our subject has advertised to the world her love of carbs in her choice of pants. 

C) Squeeze all that goodness into a muffin top look that the kids really go for nowadays. There are other holes on that belt select one that is just a little looser that way if you find any loose change you can actually bend over to get it.

Do You Have Another Pair A Little Tighter?

The expression of the two birdhouses in the upper left say it all.

How do people even squeeze themselves into pants this tight?

WHY do people even squeeze themselves into pants this tight?

Every Girls Crazy Bout A Sharp Dressed Man

Fashion Tip #432 - Chicks dig a man who is secure enough to wear a child's backpack.

The subtle seductive power encompassed in this gentleman's ensemble is only to be out done by his sheer animal magnetism.

Black socks with gym shoes.

Child's school back pack.

Pop bottle tucked securely in front pocket.

He is a keeper ladies, you can take this one home to mom but remember... tell her hands off!

He is all yours.